Before Akatsuki?
by H1d4nSAN
Summary: A look into Hidan's life before the Akatsuki. Warnings: Kakuzu's not in the first chapter. Rated for Hidan's mouth later on. Some OC's none that are important so it's mostly about Hidan.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I hope you enjoy It's my first fanfic so if it's not up to your expectation just know I tried. The first chapter doesn't have Kakuzu so be warned. Keep in mind Kentagakure and Yugakure are in the hot springs country. Basically It's their contry's policy that strongest village makes title for their ninja village and capital. This is made up so don't take it seriously. The only character's you will be familiar in this entire story will be Hidan and Kakuzu that's it. I will post my next chapter depending on how much feedback I get. Flammers and Haters WELCOME with open arms . Any comments strange critical and in between I will love with much care. ENJOY!

DISCLAMER: I do not own Hidan Kakuzu or anything of Naruto value. If I did do you seriously think I would just be writing this for free?

The small village hidden in the hot springs was quiet and peaceful. It disgusted warriors like Hidan. Yugakure was his home and it made him sick. A steady stream of greenish blue color ran threw the little village. Bamboo and lush green plants towered over the little homes proclaiming dominance. This was supposed to be the village of warriors. The village, where the country's most brutal savage army men were to be raised. It was announced a little over a week ago that this little piece of sanctuary was now a tourist beacon. Hidan the strongest of men in his country was repulsed that his home would be of peace; a place of tourism. Whose fault would this be other then the new competing village Kentagakure.

They had raised a new era of warriors and challenged the villages encompassing itself. After Kentagakure chopped its opponents down to little more then nothing, Kentagakure extended to farther villages. Soon it was the leading village of the country that was challenged. Yes, Hidan's home Yugakure. Although Hidan was only a boy of six at the time, he fought like no man of his village did. He was son of the head clan's men nothing less was expected of him. However Yugakure, despite his incredible effort, was obliterated.

Hidan now, after many years, stayed in Yugakure. He was now a man of twenty-three. He was a normal height of 5"9. Hidan was also rather slim but nicely built. To his countrymen strength wasn't measured in how strong you were in lifting weight but how skilled you were in killing. Hidan, despite being of the country's most furious men, did not look as savage as a jaguar. Instead, he often smirked. His hair like a trademark of his once prestigious clan was silver. He always combed it back and let it grow half way down his neck.

They called Hidan the Silver Blade for his agility, strength, skill and more over for his two katanas he built himself. He was a very religious man who followed his kami's, Jashin's, every whim. He often dreamt of being Jashin's disciple. Today would be the day he called upon his lord for the journey to disciple hood. After all, his home was thrown to the dogs why stay?

It was barely sunrise as Hidan started to make his way to the Jashinist temple he built with his own two hands. The doors stood tall and dark built with maple wood imported. The temple itself was made from the dark wood. Only the beams were oak. The temple casted down a shadow reaching past the brick rode in front of it due to the peaking sun on the horizon. Hidan pushed the right door just enough for him to walk through. The uneasiness from the door alarmed a relatively short fit bald man looking between 20 to 30. "Ah my lord Hidan what is it that brings you here today?" The short man pressed forward with respect.

"Monk Atsuko," Hidan bowed giving greeting. "I am here to see the scripture. I wish to finally ask for disciple hood and take the journey."

"I see. I knew one day you would wish for the journey. This way lord Hidan." Atsuko turned to lead his priest." I take it your in a good mood today my lord?" Atsuko asked creating small talk.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Only reason I'm not swearing my head off is because this is Jashin's house."

"Hmm... Very good point however, you haven't held your tongue before. To add on your using proper grammar and you even gave courtesy!" The corridor narrowed as they got closer.

"Well, true, but I am taking THE JOURNEY!"

Atsuko finally came to a halt and turned to face the priest. "I believe you have the key?"

"Of course I have the key what moron would hunt without ammo?"

"A resourceful one or skilled. The scripture is down the hall. I hope to see you another time my lord." Atsuko bowed forth and pressed on back to wince he was.

"Hmph. Whatever. HEY! BY THE WAY YOUR IN CHARGE WHILE I'M GONE SEE YA LATER PALEY!" Hidan yelled back to the vanishing form. When he pushed the door open the room automatically lit up with fire torches triggered by the door. The Scripture took up most of the wall and was a stone tablet. The first Jashinist sculpted the tablet. The tablet for claimed that one who becomes Jashin's disciple received a journey to long for one human life. Thus, the first part of the journey is to become immortal. To most it's only legend even for Jashinist like Atsuko and doubtful to a high priest such as Hidan.

Hidan took in the scripture and the ceremony to achieve immortality. After an hour of mesmerizing the scripture Hidan rose." Annoying to mesmerize such a long scripture. I hope this works Jashin." He said to no one but himself walking to the exit.

Hidan walked back home to pack things of importance to his journey. Walking past compound abandoning his home, he gave his last farewell to his own house. There was no one to say good-bye to the warrior as he walked past the village gate. This would be Hidan's first journey away from his little village.

First on the list find sacrifices to Jashin. Morning turned to noon, which turned to evening. The sun disappearing leaving the night sky to dominate and not a cloud to block the show above. Hidan was lining his seven sacrifices to the symbol of his kami. The symbol was a circle with an upside down triangle.

Hidan placed three candles, he brought from home, where the ends of the triangle met the circle. Satisfied he began to paint his skin black and white. He placed white above where his bone would be and cover the rest of his skin black. He looked like a messenger of death as he took his place in the center of the diagram. In his right hand was his rosary and he began prayer.

Wind died down near the end of his prayer. Clouds began to form from nowhere. Once Hidan finished he looked to the sky. It began to crackle. Lightning was summoned up giving quite a show when it began to poor. Wind did not disturb the strait down poor of rain. The paint on Hidan was rinsed away and the candles were no more.

Hidan arose from his place on the grass. *SIGH* "I'm going to get a cold if I stay out here." Hidan picked his things up off the grass and began to make his way to one of his recent sacrifice's home. His recent sacrifice was living on his own so Hidan needn't worry about unexpected visitors.

"Hmm... So I'm immortal now eh? I guess I'll have to test this skill tomorrow..." Hidan lay upon the queen sized bed placed above wooden floor and centered. "Night Jashin-sama..." He gave his last prayer for the night content on his achievements for the day.

NEXT DAY

The sun rose allowing its luminosity to stretch across the land. The vibrant, lush grass sparkled in the light as the dew condensed. Birds each sang their own song. The small village wooden home, that Hidan rest in, lit to a light orange with the rising sun.

Light streamed into the room Hidan rested. Hidan wasn't the kind of guy who enjoyed waking early, unless his schedule demanded an early rise. Today just didn't seem to be the kind of day to wake early; however, the dead bodies aligned in a diagram disagreed. How long would it be before a passerby just so happened to catch sight or smell of the drenched corpses lying on the grass hilltop? Hidan was very aware that his lack of productivity would get him into trouble, but Hidan disregarded it as a way to test his new ability against the village's Shinobi. It was not until late noon that our warrior rose from his cocoon of comfort and sleep.

*Yawn* Hidan stretched as far as his limbs would allow, while small tears formed at the corners of his eyes due to the tired yawn. " Ahhh... I'm starving!" Just as quickly as he spoke, he ran to the kitchen to see what there was to eat.

Digging into the cupboards he brought up several containers of food. The refrigerator only contained one smoked salmon. Debating over eggplant and salmon it was obvious the victor would be the fish. Just as soon as Hidan warmed the stove, he heard a knock at the door. " Ah. It's about time I have some company around this joint!" Rising, Hidan didn't give much thought as to who was on the other side of the door. " How can I help you?" he asked addressing the men outside, as soon as the door swung open. One of the men was rather tall and gave a look that could kill a hundred men, if looks could kill. The other man was rather short and old but still gave his own death glare. Hidan easily brushed the evil glances off and gave a smile.

" Well... Are you two going to stand there all day? Come in. Come in. Can I help you guys to some water?"

" We're here to ask you a few questions." spoke the tall one.

"Well feel free! We're not strangers here are we?" Hidan's smile never faltered. The two men made themselves at home on a couch by the door as Hidan made his way back to the kitchen to obtain the two cups filled with water. He handed the water to the two strangers, and seated himself on an adjacent couch. After a few sips of water and some small talk, the men finally got back to business.

"So, Hidan was it? Did you hear about dead people above that hill behind this house?", asked the shorter of the two men.  
"Oh... yeah those. Those were my sacrifices to Jashin-sama. I guess I forgot to clean them up after the ceremony. Heh heh... My bad. I was just really tired ya know?" Both men were taken aback by Hidan's honesty. The guy was smiling even! Both strangers rose and took their weapons from their holsters on their backs. It didn't faze Hidan in the least.

" Are you a stranger here? Where are you from demon?" demanded the taller man.  
"Why yes of course I am not from here. I hail from the land of Yugakure. Let it be known that I carry a message of death from our people."  
The two men lost all seriousness when they looked at each other and burst into laughter.  
" You are from Yugakure? Ha ha ha!" exclaimed the tall man.  
"Ha ha, they're nothing but a bunch of weaklings!", the smaller man smirked. " Is this a joke? Are you like, like a gay pretty boy? Heh heh."  
Hidan's smile faded as he glared at the two men. They continued to laugh just to spite Hidan, so he walked to the side of the couch and put his hands behind it and gave the two his signature smirk.

"Oh no! Look out Bantu! He's got a flower behind that couch! Ha ha ha!"  
" No Hikima he's got an eyelash curler behind the couch Ha ha ha!" laughed the tall man.  
Hidan had heard enough. He pulled out his signature twin Katanas and sliced up the closest Shinobi which happened to be the short man. All laughter stopped and silence filled the room. Bantu jumped back readying his two knuckle blades.  
"How dare you!" Screamed the tall angry man. At this Hidan's smirk widened.

Bantu kicked up the table and with his other foot aimed it in Hidan's direction. Flying in mid air, Hidan cut up the table with ease. The table fell into cut up pieces of wood on the floor. Hidan used the couch behind him as a platform to flip in the air. He executed his Katanas nicely as Bantu blocked with his knuckle blades. Hidan quickly used his other Katana and slashed deep enough to draw blood on his cheek. Hidan retreated backwards. Licking the blood off his blade, his skin rapidly changed to his painted form from last night.  
" WHAT ARE YOU?", screamed Bantu in utter shock.  
"Death." With that Hidan cut his wrist and allowed blood to drip on the hardwood floor. With his foot, he dipped it in blood and drew his God's symbol on the floor with it.  
" NOW YOUR HEATHEN SOUL WILL BE SMITED BY JASHIN'S POWER!". Hidan smiled so widely he looked like a mad man. The ceremony to achieve disciple hood worked. He was given the powers of a death God and was excepted as Jashin's son. What else could make his day better?

That is when Bantu collapsed to the ground and blood soaked his clothing in the same spot Hidan had stabbed himself.  
"What The?". It was the end and Bantu knew it. Bantu then threw his knuckle blade hoping that it would stop whatever it was Hidan did to him. Hidan; however, made no effort to dodge the blade that was meant to kill him. Piercing his lungs he laughed as the same effect took a hold of Bantu.  
"You're going to kill yourself like that!" Hidan all the more smiled at his prey's efforts. Bantu grunted at the sheer pain that exploded in his left lower lung.  
"Hmmm. Maybe I should end this early?" taunted the death reaper.  
"N-n-no!" Bantu was absolutely helpless as Hidan picked up his Katana and stabbed himself threw the heart, slowly driving the blade in. Bantu was no more. The life in him faded away. The coloring of Hidan's skin faded back to his original skin color as Bantu's life faded to nothing.  
"Ahh. Time for my fish." Hidan was never more pleased that his God gave him the gift in trade for loyalty.

The sun settled on the village next door to Yugakure as the stars rose to their place on the dark navy blue sky above. After he was done with his meal, Hidan left the house for abandonment. He did not however, leave the village quite as peacefully. He began his killing spree on the village and playing with his new powers. He left the village in complete chaos, having each building burnt to the ground.  
"Ahh. I think I'm going to eliminate each village I pass for Jashin-sama."  
The village collapsed as the fires luminescent light roared at it's fast pace increased. The next village would be the one he rested at for the rest of the night.

NEXT DAY

The streaming light of the next day filled the rich suite that Hidan believed he so rightfully deserved. He was now a one-man army who would bring back honor to his home. That meant all the more killings for his God. Picking up the phone, he ordered as much food service that was possible for the crew below. His schedule demanded he be up early today if he ever wanted to quickly achieve his goal. That means he would eat like a king and get on with the physical strain he will most likely suffer for today. Besides, the bill wouldn't matter if the people serving him were to die.  
Hidan ate his fill and enjoyed a nice scalding hot shower. When all was done and said, he went down to the main lobby. "Good morning sir. Are you here to settle your bill?" greeted the young lady at the front desk.  
"Oh no, me? Pay for such a highly accumulated bill? No. I'm here for something else much more important."  
" Well how may I help you?"  
"I guess you can start by killing yourself for Jashin-sama. Or, perhaps you would rather if I killed you?"  
"Excuse me?"  
" You heard me chick. Do you want me to kill you or do you want to do it yourself?" Hidan drew one of his Katanas to kill her himself. She turned around getting ready to run off but didn't get too far before the blade sliced right threw her neck. It cut with such ease; it was like cutting butter with a butter knife. Everyone instantly went into a state of panic. Another day, another killing spree. Village after village was destroyed. Hidan was unstoppable due to his immortality. One day equaled up to eight villages destroyed.  
Week after week, day after day killing and more killing. There was only one obstacle that remained in Hidan's way. The ultimate off all obstacles, Kentagakure. Hidan agreed with himself that he would save Kentagakure for the next day. He would need much rest is he was to challenge the capital of his country. For tonight, he would indulge himself in food, comfort and sleep.

NEXT DAY

Light hit the dominant village stretching its reach past the buildings. Kentagakure was by far the biggest village in its country. It far outranked its brethren villages in numbers, skill, knowledge, and advancement. Homes weren't like the small-disheveled huts in Yugakure. Homes in Kentagakure had elongated walls towering over the streets and stood high and mighty enough to challenge the bamboo jungle that encompassed Kentagakure. The structures were made of brick and each designed elegantly to display architectural beauty.  
Hidan scoffed at the village that ruined his life, which crippled his once glorious home. That extinguished his once notorious clan until nothing stood but him. It was their mistake allowing him to live, to reek his revenge. That is exactly why Jashin forbade half killing. Now Hidan was going to absolutely demolish Kentagakure.  
Hidan walked forward, his sandals crunching on the dirt road below him with each step. Pressing forward with his life's dream, Hidan couldn't suppress his smirk. The very first person Hidan would spot would be the very first person to start the slaughter. Hidan whipped out his left Katana and mercilessly swung his sword to the very first person in his path of unleashing destruction.  
Panic erupted through the defenseless villagers as Shinobi stepped up to face the threat. Shinobi was slaughtered. No one stood a threat in Hidan's path of destruction and revenge. Building after elegant building burning to the ground. The Kage or ultimate Shinobi finally rose from his throne.  
"Who is it that challenges my people and I?" The Kage's voice roared out in a deep rumbling voice. The Kage was incredibly ripped, almost inhumanly and his skin a nice tan and he himself was amazingly tall.  
"HMPH! I do! Hidan of Yugakure and the san clan!"  
"Oh... yes the village that once held title high. I remember...soo you wish vengeance on your homeland? But why are you here all alone? Where are your people? Are they hiding in the bushes perhaps? Like the cowards they are?"  
Hidan let out a snarl and lifted his two Katanas up ready to fight.  
"No! I am here to challenge you myself, to show that it takes only one warrior to destroy your pathetic home!"  
"Well can your village alone protect this entire country? We have. Can your home provide warriors? We did. What did you do?"  
Hidan didn't give this much thought. How as his people, the weakest village known in his country supposed to defend and provide war for his country?  
"I'm going to annihilate you!" Although it would be important to give thought to the matter, but since when did he stop blood shed to think?  
"Fine! But you will be the evil who destroyed your home country. Let it be known that Hidan of the san clan destroyed his country by leaving the people of Yugakure to defend his home country from the nation of superior Shinobi!"  
Hidan's rage burned and boiled underneath his skin. He had just about enough. Nothing else mattered more than destroying the greatest warrior of the biggest city.  
Roaring out a battle cry, Hidan ran forward letting his Katana drag as sparks flew. When close enough, he began to lift his weapon of death still in mid air. This was it; his moment of glory. Why was the Kage closing his eyes? Why was he not defending himself? He was smiling even! SLICE! A clean swipe cutting the air and slicing his ultimate enemy. The Kage smiled even to his death. The Kage's head slid off as the body collapsed. His smile never faltered, even then. Did he know something? That smile. That stupid smile. It taunted Hidan's lack of knowledge. What was it that the Kage knew that Hidan may never acquire?  
"Forget him! Who needed a weak Kage anyway? I'LL SHOW HIM BY BECOMING A KAGE MYSELF!"  
With that he mutilated the village.  
Never to look back Hidan continued onward to his own home to reproclaim righteous honor. Hidan single handedly had destroyed each village. Only his home remains standing in one piece. He couldn't wait to return home and announce the news.  
Walking through each annihilated village to the next, he felt satisfaction. He did it all with his two bare hands. He remembered everything. Every detail of how every village was destroyed. Days of traveling back and the next stop would be home.

NEXT DAY

Walking over the horizon with the sun, Hidan looked at the new capital of his country. He told no one he was going to challenge the country and make Yugakure the new greatest village. He didn't even give word to Atsuko before he left. Atsuko only thought that Hidan was on the journey to achieve immortality. Ah, his people would be in for a surprise.  
Walking on the familiar stone path, Hidan's excitement rose. Pressing the right door to the Jashin temple, and alarming his friend, made Hidan's excitement grow.  
" Oh Hidan-sama! You have returned at last! I see that you must have achieved immortality with a smile like that." Atsuko was pleased with his priests high atone.  
" There's more to it than that!" Hidan's sentence was oozing with excitement.  
"Hmm? Then what else is there my lord?"  
" We are the new capital!" Punching the air with his fist Hidan began a small dance of victory. Atsuko was shocked at the news and his pleased demeanor faded. At witnessing this discomfort in his friend Hidan slowly came to a halt with his dance.  
"Ne? What's the matter? Your not happy about the good news?"  
" Hidan... my friend. There is only one rule to becoming a capital city thru war. Did you not hear of it or read it in a text book or scroll?"  
" Uh... No. What happened to alls fair in war?"  
" The saying goes ' all is fair in love and war.' The rule is you must challenge a capital with ALL of your village." This brought up silence. Hidan often made mistakes; however, this may have been the biggest mistake of his life.  
" What are the consequences of a mistake like that?"  
" I don't know you must go to the feudal lord. He lives not too far from here considering we are at the heart of the country. Just head north and you will run into a palace with fort like walls surrounding it. Instead of Ninja guards they have Samurai."  
" Huh? Samurai? Not particularly fond of them but whatever. I'm sure it means nothing if I went on my own to destroy villages."  
" Oh I hope you are right. I will spread the word on what you've done while you are away. I wish you luck Hidan-sama."  
" Alright see ya later buddy!" turning around Hidan wasn't too pleased that he would have to adjourn some more. Leaving his home, he headed off to the path in between the bamboo forest north.  
The sun was rising mid sky claiming the time to be noon. Not one cloud disturbed the clear sky. Finally reaching the end of the path Hidan started on was a clearing. Several yards away from the bamboo forest was the fort wall Atsuko talked about. The grass in the clearing was a huge contrast to the wood fort walls. The grass looked new, fresh, clean and as vibrant green as the bamboo forest it was surrounded by. Walking around the fort walls, Hidan finally found the entrance and two Samurai. Both wore red armor and had holsters to hold their Katanas on a belt. Both Samurais looked to be six feet tall. The one on the left, closest to Hidan regarded him.  
" Can we help you?"  
Walking forward some more so that both Samurai could see Hidan he finally responded. " Yes, I'm Hidan of Yugakure. I am here to see the feudal lord."  
" Ah, we hear you are the man who vanquished Kentagakure on your own." Answered the samurai standing to the right.  
"Yeah, news travels fast like a hawk descending on his prey. A27, will you tell lord Ryuunosuke that Hidan of Yugakure has arrived and there's no need to send enforcements to detain him like originally planned." Responded the samurai on the left.  
"On it A02." Samurai A27 turned to continue his quest pressing a fort door open and shutting it behind himself.  
"Odd never knew samurai were called by letters and numbers."  
"We are more uniformed as such."  
"Meh, learn everyday." Silence formed between the two. After awhile samurai A27 returned.  
"Lord Ryuunosuke wants to see him should I escort him A02?"  
"Ya, he would get lost. I'll stand here for guard in the mean time will you send that lazy Nn2?"  
"Alright come Hidan." Opening the door Hidan followed. Walking thru the compound the samurai leading Hidan came to a stop in front of a hey stack. "Nn2 wake up A02 has called for you."  
"Ngh, A02? Ah... Where is he?" Nn2 wore similar armor only his was blue.  
"He's guarding the front entrance to the palace compound."  
"Alright, I'll be there in a minute." Nn2 got up and headed to the entrance. A27 continued to the palace Hidan following. The palace was tall, the structure elegant, and made from wood. Walking past samurai, thru corridors, hallways, and up many flights of stairs that reached a special door. The door was red and had four samurai in black armor guarding the door.  
"092, 0A1, 01A, and 067," A27 bowed to the four samurai in greeting. "I have Hidan from Yugakure."  
"Very well then proceed A27." 092 acknowledged. Each samurai moved to the side so A27 and Hidan could make it thru the door. Sitting behind a desk was the feudal lord Ryuunosuke. He was old but tall and skinny. He wore a light red hat the kind an important noble would wear. His robe was elegant and had a dragon designed on it.  
"So you are Hidan of Yugakure. I've heard much about you."  
" Yea, I didn't know I had broken a rule so does that mean isn't going to be the capital? Or is there a different consequence?"  
" Yea. Well your village IS the capital. However...you set your country up for failure. Your village is weak and by destroying all the other villages you have made this country weak...our country will now model after your village. We will be a peaceful tourist country. You...you are banished. You are no longer a citizen of this country. You can leave peacefully or die now."  
This upset Hidan.  
" I NEVER DIE! OUR COUNTRY IS NOT GOING TO BE PEACEFUL!" Hidan jumped up on the desk ready to slice the feudal lord but the samurai didn't wait for that to happen and quickly sliced Hidan's neck. His head fell off and his body collapsed. Often samurai preferred a slower method of killing but the situation demanded immediate action.  
" Hmm...will you dispose of him A27?" A27 walked closer to the head and froze.  
" MORONS I'M STILL ALIVE!" No one could believe it. His head was plainly dethatched from his body but he was still talking.  
" Get that demon out of my country! Knock him out or something!" The feudal lord was disgusted by the talking head beside his desk. A27 used a pressure point and knocked Hidan out cold.

A/N: Next chapter will have Kakuzu. Comments like I said previously are welcome any and all comments recive vertulized cookies.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Mmmk so I decided to continue this even though N1njasCr33d had some harsh criticism they are right and after this story I was thinking of changing my writing style. Mind you I wrote this story two years ago and have only recently decided to publish it. I would also like to send a big THANK YOU! to HeartsNaruto for encouraging me. This is my first fic ever published. So thank you for the kind review I really appreciate it! HeartsNaruto gets a cookie:). Anyhoo this is the last chappie. So I hope you guys enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto for if I did I would cover Hidan's background story. Same with Kakuzu's.

The sky was lit by the half moon as the stars twinkled in their own way. Kakuzu didn't care for sleep and didn't even consider himself man. He was often called demon and was outcast. He was rather tall around 7 ft. He was thick and muscular. His skin was a very dark tan. His hair was unruly, thick, dark, and came down to his shoulders (covered by a mask of some sort). He had stitches on his arms. His only features giving way being his eyes and arms. He was a rouge ninja who spent his time collecting bounty's on people.  
Kakuzu walked to a nearby bench and decided to count his money.  
A bag rested at the side of the bench. Kakuzu didn't care as he started counting..  
" 100, 150, 250, 300, 400, 450..."  
" OI! Who's there? Please don't run away. I'm in the bag."  
Kakuzu was a little taken aback when he heard the voice calling out to him. He looked down over toward the bag.  
" Why would a moron like you be resting in a plastic bag at night?" Kakuzu's voice was low and rumbled like the Earth.  
" Whoa funky voice. No offense. Look I can't move okay? So can you help me?"  
" Hmph all right fine. But I hope you got money. I don't do nice for free." Digging in the bag, Kakuzu brought up a head. It was Hidan.  
" Shouldn't you be dead?"  
"Oww, hey moron the hair! The hair! Put me down!"  
" Shouldn't you be complaining about your neck?"  
" Of course it hurts! Put me DOWN!"  
" Money?"  
" Right. Pocket in my pants." Kakuzu set the loud head down and retrieved the rest of Hidan's body from the bag. Digging in Hidan's right pocket Kakuzu brought up 3,000 yen and put the money in the briefcase.  
" So your not afraid of a talking head?"  
" No. I believe I'm more annoyed by it."  
" Pft...Whatever. I'm Hidan."  
" Hidan huh? What a weird name to be given to a man."  
" What do you mean?"  
" Hidan sounds feminine."  
" HEY IT'S NOT FEMININE! So what's your name mister know it all?"  
" I'm Kakuzu. I'm a rogue ninja from the land of falls country. Kakuzu is masculine."  
" Well KAH-KEW-ZOU got any recommendations for a clean cut head?"  
Kakuzu picked up the severed body and placed it on the bench next to Hidan's head. Kakuzu then placed Hidan's head and aligned it to the body. Kakuzu's stitches above his wrist came to life and undid themselves. The tendril then pierced Hidan's skin and began to stitch itself to connect Hidan's head and body.  
" Ow! That hurts!"  
" Stop complaining and be glad I'm even putting you back together to begin with."  
" Well will you STOP being so fucking slow?"  
" I need to connect your veins, vitals, throat and so on so stop complaining... There. All done."  
Hidan couldn't believe it. This odd stranger managed to put him back together again. Yeah his body fell asleep while being disconnected but now he could feel his toes. Getting up to leave, Kakuzu grabbed his briefcase.  
" Oi wait up buddy."  
" Buddy?" Kakuzu turned around and looked at Hidan.  
" Since when did I establish that we were buddies?"  
" You're my buddy. So where are we off to Kakuzu-kun?"  
" No, WE are not going anywhere. YOU are going home."  
"Ah...Well my home um it banished me. So I guess we are both rouge ninjas, ne?"  
"Well your immortal right? And if you're immortal you can help me acquire bounties."  
" Meh, you're a bounty hunter? Well fine I'll help your business. I need to make sacrifices for Jashin-sama."  
" Whatever. Just make sure the bounty is recognizable once you're through. " Kakuzu turned around and began to head to the village close by.  
" By the way...we're not buddies. So if you annoy me enough I'll destroy you."  
" Hmph, whatever. Hey I'm tired can we go to an Inn or something? I need a shower." Hidan ran forward to catch up with Kakuzu.  
" No, you can sleep on the grass while I count my money. Besides, Inns are a waste of money."  
" Money, money, money! Are you like obsessed with it or something mister greedy ass pants?"  
" Depends on how you define obsessed."  
" Well we are going to an Inn whether you like it or not!" Kakuzu quickly turned around as soon as he halted his walk. He then gave Hidan a death glare that frightened anyone who crossed his path. However, it didn't faze Hidan in the least.  
" Since when did you become my boss? Wasn't it enough I let you tag along with me? Ungrateful little..."  
" Oi! Don't get your panties in a bunch! I seriously need a shower and a nice place to crash. Fuck!"  
" Fine. Just for tonight." Kakuzu then turned around and began to walk thru the village.  
" Oh yes-ness!" Walking past a few buildings and small structures Hidan spotted a nice Inn.  
" How's about that one? Oh no, that one looks more elegant!"  
" Uh-how's about NO." continuing on Kakuzu finally spotted an old run down Inn. As Kakuzu headed toward it, Hidan's happy demeanor faded.  
" Aw Come on you CHEAP-FUCKER!"  
" Be glad we're even going to an Inn."  
The building looked rather small, the paint was faded and the sign said, " Dragon Inn". The wood that the building was made of didn't look to be in good shape. Parts of the building were a dark faded green; the rest faded dark navy blue. Sliding the front door open revealed a small, old and partially bald man behind the desk ready to serve anyone who wished to stay. Kakuzu, tall, dark and mean frightened the little old man. It didn't really help that Hidan was looking rather unhappy.  
" M-may I help you two gentlemen this evening?" asked the innocent old man.  
" How much for two single rooms?" Kakuzu's heavy voice frightened the old man more.  
" 3-3515 yen."  
" And for one single bedroom?"  
" 2-2550 yen."  
"Deal."  
" Wait- WHAT?" Hidan was very unpleased at this.  
" Come on I got the key so stop yelling." Elbowing Kakuzu, Hidan was still baffled at how cheap his new companion was.  
" Here it is. " Walking in, Kakuzu threw himself on the only bed. The room was small, the walls plain white with small cracks here and there.  
" Where do I sleep? "  
Kakuzu then pointed to the floor.  
" Night, see you tomorrow Hidan-chan." Now Hidan was insulted. Not only was he the greatest Shinobi in all of his previous country, forced to sleep on the floor, but also he was given a female ending to his name. Reaching for his Katanas Hidan then realized he didn't have them.  
" What? Where are my Katanas?" searching frantically Hidan gave up.  
" Hm? Katanas? Maybe the people who left you in that bag took them?"  
" Agh! I've had nothing but misfortune. Why Jashin why?"  
" Well, the showers over there...goodnight." Kakuzu turned his back to Hidan and readied himself for the sleep he avoided for so long.  
" Whatever. I'm the Great Hidan, the greatest ninja in all of the land of springs. I can sleep on the floor."  
" Well greatest ninja of sissy land, you just got banished so shut up before I shut you up myself." Grumbled out Kakuzu.  
" I'd like to see you try Mr. I'm married to a single yen!"  
" I'm not in the mood Hi-chan, so I recommend you take your shower and go to sleep!"  
" Or what?"  
" That does it!" Kakuzu then got up, grabbed Hidan by the neck and began strangling him.  
" Ha! I'm immortal, " choked out Hidan. Kakuzu tightened his grip and it wasn't long before the lack of oxygen knocked him out.

- Next Day-

It was a nice new morning as the sun came out from the window Inn room that Hidan stayed in. The blue sky looked fresh and promising with only a few clouds. The window was like a square frame painted a long time ago with green. Hidan ached everywhere down and up his back. He'd just spent the night on an old wooden floor. He was sure he got a few splinters from the unglossed, shack like floor. Getting up, Hidan heard the sound of the shower turning off. It must have been Kakuzu. Kakuzu preferred cold showers since it was cheaper then hot water, so the steam was absent from underneath the door.  
" Ow...Oi Kakuzu my back hurts! Hurry up I need a hot shower!" Hidan knocked several times at the door. Getting tired of constantly banging at the door, Hidan leaned on it and began to doze off. Kakuzu, once ready, swung the door open. Hidan hit the floor with a loud THUMP! Kakuzu looking down at Hidan like he was a moron or something.  
" OW! D*$ SUCKIN CU&* BITCH FUCKER MONEY WHORE A$$ FUCK D%^& %^$^%*!$#!  
" You aren't incredibly bright are you?" Kakuzu said and stepped over Hidan and ignored any further complaints from him.  
" Well, are you going to lay there all day? Or are you going to take a shower crybaby? "  
Hidan slowly stood from his place on the floor. He crawled into the bathroom that practically descended from heaven and with his left foot kicked the door shut.  
" Just hurry it up okay? We gotta get outta here before the old man charges us for water use!"

NEXT DAY

The forest here isn't anything like the forest at Hidan's home. The forest had tall trees and not a single bamboo stick in sight. The trees didn't grow as concretely close together as bamboo. It was like nothing Hidan had seen before.  
" So where are we going?"  
" To collect more bounty; the next one on my list is not far from here."  
" Meh...say, why do you love money so much?"  
"Because in this world, it is the only thing you can trust."  
" Hm? Do you really believe that? You should trust Jashin-sama and I."  
" No. I don't believe in religion and most definitely not in people. You're lucky I'm allowing you to follow me. If you do betray me in any way, you will not live to tell about it."  
" Jeez, talk about trust issues and I'm immortal remember?"  
" There is no such thing as immortality. Everyone can die."  
" Well fine don't believe me. So why don't you trust people?"  
" I'm not going to tell you."  
" Whatever."  
They continued walking to the land of mist.

later

Reaching the border to the next country, it became slightly misty. The forest became darker and the air a little cooler.  
" Meh, so this is why they call this place the mist country huh? Does that mean the falls country has lots of falls?"  
Kakuzu only nodded yes.  
" Oh too cool we should visit then!"  
" No, rouge ninja from falls country remember?"  
" So?"  
" They'll recognize me."  
" Meh so kill the people who recognize you!"  
Out of the mist two figures started to appear. Without warning Kakuzu grabbed Hidan and pulled him to the side.  
" HE-!"  
Before Hidan could make another noise, Kakuzu covered his mouth.  
" Shh...these are border patrol ninja." whispered Kakuzu. As the two ninja appeared out of the mist, their conversation became audible.  
" I could have sworn I heard something Naoki." spoke the ninja in mostly red clothing.  
" It was most likely nothing but a couple of birds Aoi. I swear you are paranoid." Naoki replied. This ninja wore blue and dark green.  
" Naoki is on my bounty list. He is a patrol ninja for the mist and very valuable. I think he's the one." whispered Kakuzu.  
" On it!"  
With that, Hidan jumped from behind the tree.  
" You idiot, you don't have any weapons!" Kakuzu stepped out from his hiding spot.  
" Where are you from? Identify yourselves!" Naoki spoke as he readied a kunai knife.  
" Here. Take my kunai knife. This is an opportunity for me to study your abilities."  
Kakuzu took his kunai knife out of his weapons pouch behind him and handed it to Hidan. Naoki and Aoi jumped back and got ready to battle.  
" Okay stay out of my way!"  
" Remember the bounty must be recognizable once you are done. And Hidan be careful. You might die."  
" Hmph, I wish." With that Hidan made his first move and charged in Naoki's direction. Aoi jumped in Hidan's path but he just jumped over her using her head for a boost, he knocked her down.  
" Aoi stay out of this! Go back and get reinforcements!"  
Hidan landed his kick on Naoki but Naoki deflected the kick with his own kick. Aoi got up and ran toward the closest village. Hidan swung his arm and cut Naoki with the kunai knife. Pleased that he succeeded in drawing blood, Hidan jumped back and got the taste of blood off of the blade.  
" HA! NOW YOUR HEATHEN SOUL WILL BE SMITED BY JASHIN-SAMA'S GREATNESS!"  
Hidan began the ritual as his skin changed to the death reaper form that he painted long ago. Hidan cut himself and drew his kami's' symbol in blood with his feet. Kakuzu found this rather odd and became curious.  
" Heh! Now you will feel the ultimate pain, DEATH."  
Naoki, not sure as to what was happening, began to change.  
" Nuh uh uh. Not so fast."  
Hidan then stabbed his own leg. Naoki in mid charge collapsed. His leg was in immense pain.  
" I'll have to end this quickly."  
Without hesitation, Hidan stabbed himself in the heart. Naoki then died. Hidan's skin then faded back to it's original color.  
" Interesting. How did you do that?"  
" It's a gift from Jashin-sama. See, you can trust Jashin-sama."  
" Who's Jashin?"  
" My kami you know, my God."  
" No such thing. Come on let's go to the nearest collection office. I know this nice one not too far from here where they pay double for a mist ninja."  
" Hmph fine. Jashin-sama will smite your heathen soul sooner or later as well."  
Kakuzu then picked up the body and they both began heading away from the mist country.

NEXT DAY

" Are we almost there yet? I'm tired and you even made me sleep in the woods! That thing reeks! Just get rid of it."  
Kakuzu's last nerves were being grated into dust. Hidan mainly complained and Kakuzu did his best to ignore him.  
" Yes, and hell no."  
" So, where is this collection office? We've been walking through the same woods for a day and a half!"  
" Yes well do you see that hill up there?" Kakuzu then pointed to the rise in the trail. Hidan then nodded and Kakuzu continued his reply.  
" When we get there, the woods will stop. No more trees. Instead we will be in a desert, but after that hill is an abandoned village. That is where the collection office is."  
" Well it's about fucking time!"  
Just as Kakuzu promised, the woods cleared and they were now walking on the desert terrain. Some buildings were a complete wreck and half wedged into the shifting sand. They walked past quite a few buildings until Kakuzu went into an abandoned store.  
" If you want, you can stay here."  
" Nu-uh I'm comin'." Kakuzu then went behind the counter to a back room crowded with boxes. The boxes were stacked as tall as the ceiling. Kakuzu reached out and knocked on one of the boxes. Oddly it didn't sound like cardboard to Hidan. The stack pushed back and moved aside.  
" What the?"  
A man as tall as Hidan peeked out. He wore a bandana over his head and a sleeveless leather jacket.  
" Ah Kakuzu...If it isn't my favorite bounty hunter. How can I help you today?"  
Kakuzu slung the dead body over his shoulder to show the man.  
" Well, come in...come in."  
" Meh, Kakuzu this place reeks worse than that dead body. I'm just going to wait outside."  
" I told you, you should have stayed. I'll catch up with you when I'm done 'kay Hidan?"  
" Whatever." Hidan then left the room. The man with the bandana pulled an autopsy table from the wall and had Kakuzu place the body on it.  
" So Kakuzu, who was that person a friend?"  
" No. An annoyance that follows me. Why?"  
" What village is he from?"  
" That sissy land of the springs."  
" Hmm really? Well you should know his head is worth one hundred million yen."  
" Wh-what?"  
" Yes well they don't want an annoyance like him ruining their tourist hot spot reputation. They're willing to accept his head alone for all of that money. So are you going to behead him Kakuzu?"  
The man grabbed a briefcase of money Kakuzu earned for Naoki."  
"No." Kakuzu grabbed the case then clicked it open and started counting.  
" Hm? Why? I thought he was an annoyance who followed you?"  
" If you bring it up again, I will kill you."  
" What's the matter with you? I thought you were only in it for the money? Don't tell me you care for people now. Have you gone senile? Your certainly old enough..."  
That was it. That did it. Kakuzu knocked the guy out by punching him squarely in the face.  
" Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way out." Kakuzu grabbed his cash case and stepped over the guy. Outside, Hidan sat on the porch. Kakuzu opened the door and alarmed Hidan.  
" Well, it's about time!"  
" Come on. We have to get out of here NOW."  
" Hm? What's the rush?"  
" Come on. No time for chit chat. Ask later." Kakuzu continued to walk very quickly and Hidan followed.

later

The day was coming to an end as they reached a village encompassed by the familiar forest.  
" Meh, can we rest at an Inn? I'm tired."  
Without much say Kakuzu changed his direction and headed to a suitable Inn. Hidan then became puzzled. Shaking it off, he entered the Inn. This one was red and welcoming. A woman looking to be in her 30's sat behind the desk. She had a small smile as she greeted the two.  
" May I help you two gentlemen?'  
" How much for one double bedroom?"  
" Well today we are having a special. 6,000 yen."  
" Okay I'll take it." Kakuzu lifted his case and paid the friendly lady. Now Hidan was really confused. Something must have happened at the collection office.  
" The room is that way. Have a wonderful evening."  
The lady handed Kakuzu the keys and they headed to their room. The room had nice tan walls as smooth as the hard wood floor underneath them. To the left was the bathroom and in the center of the room were the two separate beds. Kakuzu threw himself on the bed to the right and made himself at home.  
" Um, hey Kakuzu-san why are we staying in a nice Inn? I mean, thanks and all it's nice, but you're usually cheaper. What's going on?"  
" Enjoy it. Goodnight. Don't bother me."  
" Mm'kay night buddy." Hidan headed off for a nice scolding hot shower before bed.

later

Kakuzu deposited his cases in his bank account but kept some loose cash for food and such. Kakuzu told Hidan that they were headed to the land of fire to collect more bounties. It bothered Hidan because Kakuzu of late had been nicer than usual. He paid for the water use even! Getting closer to the border of the land of fire, Kakuzu spotted a ninja and hid behind a tree with Hidan. By now, they had built a routine on how to deal with the border ninja. Hidan usually took care of the ninja, and Kakuzu carried it to a collection office.  
" This one is a high ranked bounty. His name is Rentachi. Be careful.", whispered Kakuzu.  
" Meh, this'll be cake!" Hidan jumped out ready.  
" Who are you? Identify yourself!" Rentachi wore black and had his own weapons ready. He had two scythe like blades connected to chains connected to his arms.  
" Name's Hidan, your death."  
" Hidan? You're that one guy in the bingo books. Your worth one hundred million yen."  
" Huh?" Rentachi then let out a loud and unusual whistle. In the blink of an eye, three other Shinobi appeared.  
" Crap, Hidan come on! We are retreating!", yelled out Kakuzu appearing from his spot behind the tree.  
" No way! I soo got this!", but before Hidan could attack or even look back to his opponents, his head got cut off.  
" OW, SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING BITCH SLUT!"  
" You're not taking Hidan."  
" Yeah? Who's stoppin' us?"  
"Me." Kakuzu stepped forward and readied for attack. Funny thing about being only a head...you can't stay awake for very long.

later

Night had long since settled in, and stars didn't shine so bright. The only light in the room was a fire lit lamp lying on the side. It was still pretty dark and the wood was a dark gray shade to begin with. Hidan rested on a nice comfy bed. He didn't know how long he'd been out but at least he was in one piece again. Kakuzu entered to check on the fallen ninja.  
" Good your up."  
" How long was I out? Where's Rentachi? What happened? Why didn't you take me to your collection office? Seriously! Like what the hell?"  
*Sigh*  
" Two days, dead, I destroyed the border ninja. Apparently they were into bounty hunting themselves, yes, and because. Because...you're my friend. I enjoy your company, even if you're an annoying thorn at my side. "  
" SERIOUSLY? So we're traveling buddies now? SWEET!"  
" Yeah, the two demon brother's."  
" Hm? Demon huh?"  
" Well yeah...you're an immortal psycho and I'm hard to kill. If I didn't have to combat, I would be immortal like you."  
" Really? How so?"  
" I have a few spear hearts. If they get old, I could take someone else's heart."  
" Really? So how about the zombie duo?"  
" Eh, I like demons better."  
" Whatever. So are we going to collect bounty from now on?"  
" Sure. If you're in trouble...I got your back."  
" Good. There's a special someone I want revenge on."

NEXT DAY

It was a nice new day. The air was fresh and crisp. The plants, grass, and bamboo forest collected dew giving the forest a glistening effect. The fort walls stood tall. They were sharp and sturdy as were the samurai that were guarding the gates. It looked like two, blue, armored samurai stood at guard for the morning shift.  
" Looks like today's gonna be a beautiful day huh Nn2?"  
" Yeah, looks nice Ns6." Quiet and calming...the only disturbance came from a few small birds. The bamboo forest was too dense to sneak threw, so Hidan and Kakuzu decided to use the man made path and go the direct route. Nah, they had a different idea. Standing on the bamboo, they jumped far enough to reach the fort. Missing the very sharp fort walls, they landed on small buildings within the compound. Because they were ninja it was easy for them to jump from building to building.  
When Hidan was close enough to the palace, he signaled to Kakuzu. Both jumped from the last small building and grabbed on to part of the palace. Soon they were stealing it with no sign of trouble. The legions of samurai below were clueless to the two ninja.  
Once at the top, Hidan peered in the window and saw the feudal Lord Ryuunosuke completing some paperwork. Hidan gave another signal to Kakuzu. Both jumped in the window and with the new scythe like weapons that Hidan took from Rentachi, cut the feudal Lord's cheek. Taken by complete surprise the feudal Lord didn't have time to call his samurai. Kakuzu sealed Ryuunosuke's mouth with the same tendrils that he uses to put Hidan back together.  
"MMF!" Ryuunosuke's yells were muffled to nothing.  
" Jashin will now smite your heathen soul for turning this land peaceful." quietly whispered Hidan as he licked the blood off his blade. His skin changed to its death reaper form and he began cutting his wrists. As the blood fell, Hidan began drawing the symbol of his kami on the floor. Hidan grabbed his scythe and began slicing himself. Trying his best to keep the feudal Lord alive, he gave himself over two hundred and fifty slices. Then to accomplish the ultimate revenge, cut his own head off. The feudal Lords head slowly slid off his shoulders. Kakuzu put Hidan back together and both were off again. Not one samurai was alarmed. It took awhile for anyone to discover Ryuunosuke. Hidan was at last satisfied.  
" Ahh, so where are we off to now Kakuzu?"  
" Well there's this nice bounty on this one Kage."  
" Great! Let's go!" Hidan put his scythe blades in their rightful place as the two friends disappeared into the bamboo forest. 

THE END

A/N: Well then that's the end finite, I hope you enjoyed it reviewers get cookies!(::) Criticism is more than welcomed, how am I ever going to get better at writing without Criticism?


End file.
